The Fairytale Rules
by MyTwiDreams
Summary: The princess marries the prince. Villains don't get Happy Endings. Fairytales are simple. Life is not. Emma is about to find out all about it when she runs away from the future her parents planned out for her./Swanqueen
1. chapter 1

[Disclaimer]

I don't own OUAT.

[A/N]

For my wife. You're my happy ending. I love you

 **Chapter** **1**

 _Every adventure requires a first step_

 _(The Cheshire Cat)_

I can hear the drunken laughter of voices from the big hall downstairs through the walls of my room.

The music is loud. It echoes in my ears and makes my bare feet want to move rhythmically on the cold stone floor.

I love dancing. There is no way though I would consider joining my parents and

friends in their celebration tonight.

There is no reason for me to be joyful. My heart is filled with heavy bitterness.

With a blink of my eyelashes, I blow out the torch near the window. Then I ignite the flame a moment later and smile proudly.

I'm not supposed to use magic. They claim it's dangerous and can lead me to the side of darkness.

Still I can't stop testing out these skills in the privacy of my chambers.

 _One more week_ , I think, rubbing the cold toes of my feet together. Just one more week is left.

Like everyone, I've looked forward to becoming of age for a long time. That was until my father, King James, proclaimed a few months back that I'm to be wed on my eighteenth birthday.

I don't know what the rushing is all about. It's like my parents are frightened I might overnight turn into a grey-haired old maid.

Mother has been on father's side in this from the beginning. They have made me meet countless of suitors. I have danced endless waltz with red-faced, sweating younglings.

The option of marrying into our family is appealing to many of them. They aren't interested in Emma, the person; just Emma the princess.

Oh, how much easier my life could have turned out, had I been born a peasant girl instead.

My fate has been decided. I am to marry the man my father has chosen for me. They expect me to share the rest of my life with a stranger and smile about it.

The thought makes me shiver. The thought of having to share my bed with him repulses me even more.

But what can I do?

I get up from the bed and walk over to the window to take deep breaths of nightly air. My mind is racing. I've been raised all my life to believe that destiny can be changed at any moment.

My own parents are the best example for this to be true.

Before I was born, the Evil Queen threatened our kingdom with a terrible curse. It was never cast upon us. Nobody knows why her plan didn't succeed. Some say her powers weren't big enough. Others claim that the sacrifice requested for the curse was too painful. My teacher, Sir Jiminy, claims that in the end the Queen's conscious might have held her back.

No matter what her motives have been. The Evil Queen has confined herself within the walls of her own castle. Nobody is allowed to cross the boarders of her kingdom. It is said that the sun never touches the surface of the earth there.

A knock on my door makes me turn around.

"Come in," I command.

The kitchen girl who is carrying a heavy tray is about my size. Her hair is red and sweaty. The plain linen dress has stains at the sides where she wiped her hands. The apron was probably crisp white a long time ago.

She makes an awkward attempt to curtsy.

"Your highness,"

"Place the tray next to the bed." I tell her. My stomach feels knotted. I won't be able to eat a single bite. The aroma of fresh baked bread fills my nose. Maybe I will try to eat a little bit of that.

"Good night, your highness."

The kitchen girl curtsies again and when she's almost out the door, I call her back.

Her voice trembles a bit when she speaks again.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, your highness?"

I nod my head, then I walk slowly around her and look her over. We are the same height and figure, only her bosom seems a bit more developed than mine. A plan forms in my head. The words are out of my mouth before I can rethink them.

"I need your dress. Take it off."

"What?" The girl's red face matches her flaming hair. "Why would you need this old rag?"

"It's none of your concern."

I get a couple of silver coin from my jewel case and hold them for her to see.

"For the dress…and your silence," I whisper.

Her hand is warm when I press the coins into it without waiting for her response.

"Now, take the dress off and put it in my closet."

She reddens a bit more. Then, she undoes the top part of her dress and peels herself out of it. Her nipples are rosy and hard. I can feel a strange tugging in the depth of my belly.

My curious eyes move to the patch of darker reddish hair between her thighs. I wonder, if it's soft or coarse.

The thought brings heat into my cheeks. What the hell am I thinking?

"Hurry up," I snap at the naked girl, tossing one of my older dresses at her. "Not a word about this to anyone. Are we clear about that?"

She nods eagerly. Her hands are shaking when she puts on my dress that makes her breasts spill out like ripe melons. Again, my insides clench. I have experienced this sensation before when I dared to touch myself underneath the covers. Why is looking at the girl make me feel this way?

"Good night, your highness."

The girl practically runs out of my bed chamber, slamming the door behind her.

I look at the filthy dress on the floor. The material is rough when I pick it up. It smells like kitchen and sweat. I wrinkle my nose. I have never before worn something that wasn't of a soft fabric and new as a fresh born morning.

I am not used to dressing myself on my own, so it takes me a while to take off my night gown and get the girl's dress on. After securing the apron around my waist, I comb my hair and braid it.

My heart is beating faster in my chest now. I write a note for my parents, explaining to them that I can't fulfil their wish to get married.

I take mother's ring and a few other jewelry pieces that I stuff into a leather bag. The ring I will keep as a memory. The other stuff I plan on selling when I run out of silver coins.

The decision has been made. I will run away from my parents kingdom before the sun will rise again.

xxx

My feet are covered in blisters and bleeding after walking for three days. I never had to walk on foot anywhere before in my life. It's dreadfully exhausting.

Now, I know why we only travel by carriage. The pain in my ankles is throbbing but I force myself to keep going. Mechanically, I place one foot in front of the other. The forest ground is uneven. I fall down a lot. Branches tangle my hair and there is dirt on my face. By the time it gets dark, I have eaten the entire bread I took with me. My stomach rumbles. I am not used to being hungry.

I pluck some berries but I hesitate to eat them. What if these are poisonous? I don't want to accidentally end my life.

After reaching the shore of a small lake, I curl up under a nearby tree and fall into a restless sleep.

Burning thirst wakes me up. I blink into bright sunlight and realize it must already be after noon.

I place my aching feet into the cold water of the lake and try to drink as much water as I manage to swallow. A pair of swans with their offspring comes close enough for me to pet their heads. They take off quickly when they notice I have no bread crumbs to feed them with.

I feel like crying. Running away isn't near as exciting as I imagined it to be like. It means being hungry and dirty and in pain. I miss my parents painfully but I know I don't want to go back. I don't know where to instead either.

After walking for days, I thought I must have reached the sea by now. I plan on getting on a ship that will bring me as far away from the Enchanted Forest as possible.

That is, if I am walking in the right direction and haven't lost my way.

The sound of horse hooves makes me jump from my cozy place by the lake. I can't risk being found by my parents' guard. I run off into the forest and climb up a tree to hide in it's branches. I breathe against the sleeve of my dress to suffocate the noise.

There are voices. I see black uniformed men marching up around the lake. Two of them are coming closer to my hideaway.

These people don't belong to my parents guard. I must have entered another kingdom somewhere. Where exactly am I?

"Your majesty, we killed the swans."

I see a trail of blood splattered on the dry forest floor. One of the guards is carrying the biggest swan over his shoulder.

In our kingdom swans are considered holy animals. It is punished by death to harm one of these precious birds.

A wave of anger boils up inside me. It pains me to see something beautiful being destroyed.

"Look, your majesty, we found another little bird up in the tree."

The guard that points up to my hide-out in the tree laughs loudly. He and a second guard with a masked face shake the tree. I lose my balance and fall down into a pile of dried leaves.

"What am I to do with something worthless like this?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter** **2**

 _In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun_

 _(Mary Poppins)_

The woman in front of me is intimidating. She's taller than me. Her lips are painted a dark burgundy color. What intrigues me most is the strange way she is dressed. Her legs are covered in boots and some sort of tight leather pants. You can see the exact shape of her toned legs.

I swallow a mouthful of salvia. On her upper body she's wearing a corsette but it's of a thicker material than the ones I have to wear under my dresses. Her waist is wonderfully small. Her chest is voluptuous and milk white against the black color of her clothing. My heart suddenly beats faster.

She smiles but it's not a friendly smile. It doesn't reach her brown eyes.

"How you dare stare at your Queen like this? To your knees!"

My legs instantly submit to her command. I drop down, lowering my head to the dust beneath me. I try to rise up again but somehow it's impossible. She's keeping me in this humiliating position by her will. Is this some sort of dark magic?

"Your majesty?" I whisper, remembering how the guards have addressed her earlier. "Please let me go."

She makes a gesture with her left hand and my body, will-less, moves upright again. I still keep my gaze to the ground. Staring at people above your status is impolite. She has no clue who I really am. How could she with all the filth I'm covered in.

"What are you doing at my lake?"

"Just passing through," I mumble. It is awkward to speak to her. My hands are clammy. She intimidates me in a strange way.

"It's forbidden to pass through my kingdom. You are either very brave or very stupid."

Her gloved fingertip lifts my chin up. She looks me over as if I'm some kind of strange creature like she hasn't seen one before.

"What's your name, girl?"

I hesitate. I am a bad liar, but I don't want to risk my true identity as Princess Emma to be revealed. I look to the side where the guards have stapled the dead swans on a pile. It looks like they are going to set them on fire. That's strange. Didn't they hunt them for their meat?

"What's your name, girl. I won't ask again."

"S-s-swan," I stutter. "My name is Swan."

Xxxx

Her majesty smiles again. Her lips curl up and she laughs hearty and presses her hands against her rounded hips.

"Your parents named you Swan? How ridiculous. Peasants are really simpletons."

She walks around me and I barely dare to breathe while she does it.

"You're not very tall."

"My mother isn't tall either. None of the women in our family were."

"Your feet look like you travelled a great distance. From what kingdom are you?"

"S-s-snow W-w-white's and King James,"

Something in her expression changes suddenly. The hint of curiosity in her eyes vanishes. Now, it seems like she's glowing with anger.

"Have you ever met them?"

"No," I respond. "I used to work in the kitchen of the castle but I never saw the queen and king."

"Did you see their bratty daughter, the princess? Is it true that she has ears like a bat?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I have not seen the Princess Emma either. Not close enough to judge the shape of her royal ears."

She laughs then steps closer and pushes my hair behind my left ear.

"Your ears are small and well-shaped. They are filthy though. You are terribly dirty."

I blush. It makes me feel even dirtier that she is pointing out that I'm unwashed.

"What are you doing so far from home, Swan?"

I tell her as much of the true story as I can risk. I run away from home because my parents wanted to marry me off against my will.

"I know how you feel." She tells me. There is a wave of compassion in her strict voice now. It gives me hope.

"When I was your age, I was wed to a man many years my senior."

I wonder if she's still married to the old man. Is she dressed all in back because she's a widow?

"Where are you planning on going now, Swan?"

"I'm trying to make it to the sea and get on a ship."

She points to my injured feet and laughs.

"Get on a ship? Do you plan on becoming one random pirate's whore?"

I shake my head. "No, it's not like that. I can work."

"On your back, girl, or on your knees. That's the only kind of work you will find at the harbor."

My face turns hot. I didn't run away from my future husband to be forced to sleep with countless other men. The thought makes me taste bitter bile in my mouth.

"I didn't consider this in my plan."

"Thinking is not your strong point. Tell me, girl. Do you know how to read?"

"A little,"

"Do you know how to tend to a lady's needs?"

"A little,"

Her red lips morph into the tiniest smile possible.

"Then, I have a little suggestion for you, Swan."

She wants me to work for her as a personal maid. My pride feels hurt by the thought of serving someone but I guess this is still the better option than the pirates. How hard can it be to do her hair and keep her dresses in order? I've watched the servants at my parents' court do it for me all my life.

One of the guards lifts me up to sit behind him on the horse. I'm happy that they aren't making me walk on foot. We follow behind a black carriage. She really seems to have a thing for dark colors. I wonder why that is.

"You are lucky the Queen is in a good mood today." He tells me. "I've seen her strick down entire villages if someone there displeased her."

I risk a look back, seeing a fire burning near the lake. They really set the swans on fire. I don't understand it.

"Why did you kill all the beautiful swans?"

He leans closer. His breath reeks of herbs and wine but he's friendly to me.

"You need to learn not to ask questions when you are in the Queen's service. I will answer you though to sate your curiosity."

His voice becomes a whisper. It's like he's trying to make sure nobody can hear him apart from me.

"The Queen has ordered for all the swans in the kingdom to be killed."

"Why would she do such a cruel thing?" Killing swans is simply barbaric to me.

"There's an old prophecy that a swan would be her heart's undoing. That's why she is trying to get rid of these animals."

We reach a drawbridge. The walls of the castle are dark and covered in poison ivy. The guard helps me down from the horse.

"Welcome to the castle of Queen Regina. She's also called the Evil Queen, so be careful what you say and do, if you wish to keep your life and your tongue. This warning is free, girl."

I look up. The sky is red and orange and very low. What kind of nonsense that the sun never touches the ground in this kingdom.

In my head I do some math. The Evil Queen was around before my birth. That means she had to be a great deal older now than she looks like. Is she keeping herself young with the help of dark magic?

I wonder how it must be like to have this sort of power. All I can do with the little magic I possess is light fires and shut doors. Nobody has ever taught me if I'm capable of doing more. The blue fairy insisted I need to hide my abilities from my parents. Having magic is not a very common skill around princesses.

You're not a princess anymore, I remind myself as I walk through the gate. All you can ever be here is Swan, the queen's new maid.

Xxxx

The water they bring me to wash myself is cold. I still love it. There is a piece of lavender soap that I use to wash my filthy hair and the rest of me. I scrub my body while my teeth chatter from the cold. Shortly later I feel clean again. The feeling is amazing. I dress in the plain white dress that has been placed on my narrow bed.

The chamber is tiny but it's a million times better than having to sleep on the forest floor. My room is next to the chambers of the Queen. It is probably to ensure I am quick to get to her in case she demands anything from her new maid.

I brush my hair with my fingers for the lack of a comb. At least it's smooth now and freed of forest dirt.

A pale-nosed servant boy knocks on my door. He stutters. His face is a red between the countless freckles.

"Y-y-you the new maid?"

I nod my head. "My name is Swan."

"Y-y-you need to p-p-prepare t-t-he bath for the q-q-queen. H-h-hurry u-u-up."

Preparing the bath for my new mistress means carrying countless buckets of boiling hot water down from the kitchen up to her chambers. It seems to take forever until the marble tub is filled with steaming water. I see the bottles with perfumes and oils standing on a shelf nearby. An exotic aroma fills my nose when I open one of them. I try some more. Some scents are floral, like lily and roses. Some smell like cinnamon and other herbs. Eventually I decide on an oil with a divine, sweetly smell and pour some of it into the bath water.

I place some towels near the fire place to make sure they get warmed up.

"Aren't you finished yet? You are taking forever."

The Queen seems to have appeared out of nowhere. I didn't even hear a door moving. This is strange but I better get used to strange while I'm being here.

"Have you swallowed your tongue, Swan?"

"I'm sorry, your majesty. Your bath is ready now. Enjoy."

I curtsy and am about to turn around when she grabs my sleeve.

"Where do you think you are going?"

"Uhm, you said you wanted to take a bath, your majesty."

She rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue. "Yes, I want to. You are my maid. It's your job to help me with it. Now, come on. Help me to undress before the water runs cold again."

I've never undressed another person before. I have no idea where to start. She's intimidating me when she looks at me with this icy glare.

My hands begin to move automatically. I loosen the strings of her corset enough to be able to pull it over her head. Her breasts are supple and round. I try not to stare at their pinkish tips while I make a clumsy attempt to remove her strange leg clothing. They fit so tightly that I have to place my one hand on her hip while pulling with the other one.

Her undergarments are easier to remove. All over her body her skin is very pale and looks very smooth. I risk a glimpse between her thighs. For some strange reason she's completely hairless there. I can see her bare womanhood and it makes my head spin with dizziness. My heart is racing. I want to not stare at her naked body, but it seems like my eyes won't follow my brain's command. She is…magnificent.

"Swan, I'm getting cold here. You need to work a little faster. Help me into the tub."

My hand is quivering when I take hers and guide her into the tub. She sinks into the warm water and leans back with a sigh.

"Heavenly. You picked my favorite scent."

I force my knees to perform another curtsy. They feel boneless. Is this some kind of spell she's forcing upon my confused body?

"I'm most happy you're enjoying your bath, your majesty. May I go now?"

"I tell you when you can leave. Grab the sponge from the shelf and start cleaning me."

She holds up her left arm in a bored gesture.

I tremble. I can't manage to get it under control. My hands dunk the sponge into the warm bath water. Then I let it glide over the Queen's left arm. I hold her hand while I wash the arm carefully and repeat the same with her other arm.

She leans a bit forward so I can wash her back in slow circles down her spine. Now and then soft moans leave her lips. The sound makes my insides clench tight.

"You need to wash my hair now. Make sure no soap gets into my eyes. I can't stand that."

With a golden cup I pour water over her hair. It's dark and sleek, very different from my own blonde curls. I gather soap between my hands and massage it gently into her scalp.

She moans again. I wish that she would stop making these noises. They are having a bizarre effect on my body. I'm sweating and strangely throbbing between my legs. I feel moist there. What in heaven's name is happening to me?

After I manage to rinse the soap out of the queen's hair again, she grabs my wrist.

"Are you unwell, Swan?"

"Just a bit warm, your majesty, I'm just a bit warm."

"You'll get used to the heat. I like having my chambers a warm temperature. The cold is nothing I enjoy."

"Yes, your majesty."

I dunk the sponge into the water again and start washing her neck and shoulders. Slowly, I let the sponge glide lower. Will she expect me to wash her here too?"

"You can wash my breasts. They aren't going to bite you."

I'm glad to have the warmth in the room as an excuse for my flushed face. I touch her breasts as lightly as possible with the sponge. Still, the nipples get hard when I brush over them. My thumb develops a will of its own and touches the right one feather lightly.

The Queen jumps. Water splatters over the edge of the tub. I want to run away but my legs won't move. I am like paralyzed.

"I'm sorry, your majesty."

"What for? There's no harm done."

She takes the sponge from me and cleans herself between her legs. I'm still puzzled how she can be completely bare down there. I wonder how smooth the skin would feel like under my fingertips.

"Get one of the towels."

I wrap it around her and help her step out of the tub. I rub her shoulders and arms dry.

"What do you want to wear?" I ask while I'm walking over to her closet.

"Don't bother with it, Swan. Help me to dry off. I never wear anything to bed. I like sleeping naked."

Xxxxx

I'm dead tired but can't manage to fall asleep. Instead I lie on my bed, feeling the sweat pour down the sides of my face. Maybe, I'm about to start a fever. My mind won't stop circling around the embarrassing bath tub scene.

I memorize the Queen's wet, naked body. I can picture the way her breasts heaved every time she took a breath. My skin prickles when I remember washing her pale skin. I rub the pad of my thumb over my lips, the same thumb that touched the hardened pebble of her nipple earlier. The memory makes me all fuzzy in the head.

My thighs automatically press together. It helps a bit with the strange friction I'm feeling down there. I pulse. It's like my heartbeat is magically very much lower on my body. This is magical.

I blow out the candle by my bed. If I dared to use my magic, would the Queen notice it? Can people who have magic sense each other? Would she mind having me here, if she knew I'm capable of doing things?

Underneath the woolen blanket my hand glides up to cup my breasts through the cotton fabric of my night gown.

I like sleeping naked.

The Queen's words echo in my ears. I imagine her lying in the big canopy bed in the room next to mine. Her naked body wrapped in silken soft sheets.

I wonder how it would feel to touch her, touch her everywhere. Even the most intimate spot between her well-shaped thighs. She's the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on. I desire her. The way I feel about her is of a wicked desire. I can never let anyone know of it.

My mouth forms a low groan that I suppress by biting into the blanket.

I cup my breasts, rubbing my thumbs over my nipples that turn hard under my touch. I pinch them and feel them pulsing from the touch.

I remember the moaning noises the Queen was making when I was washing her hair. Could it be that she enjoyed my touch that much? Was it possible I was making her feel these strange tingle in the very depth of her belly like she was making me?

The urge to touch myself more intimately becomes overwhelming. I push my night gown up over my belly. My fingertips slide down my upper body. I'm slick and hot between my legs.

I circle my fingertips up and down my slit and shiver. My body is on fire. I circle and rub a bit stronger on the top where the touch makes me quiver. The muscles in my abdomen tense. I want to stop touching myself but the sensations are too pleasurable so I continue.

The candle next to my bed lights up again in a strange flickering flame that looks a deep purple color. A divine smell enters my nose. Is the candle infused with perfume?

I close my eyes shut while my fingers continue with the forbidden caresses between my legs. I rub through slick folds in faster and faster circles until I feel like I'm melting. The very core of myself is melting into the warm, moist liquid pouring from inside me. I've never been so incredibly wet before. My thighs and buttocks tense. I shudder as the pulsing from between my legs spreads though my entire body in waves of pleasure. The sensation is followed by a sweet, tiring feeling of relaxation.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 _Have you not worked it out yet?_

 _I cursed her that way, because there is no such thing._

 _(Malificent)_

I let go of the blanket between my teeth and breathe heavily for a couple of minutes until my heartbeat returns to a normal rhythm. It's like I don't have a single bone left in my body. If I had to stand up now, I probably couldn't.

My eyes move to the candlelight reflecting on the room's ceiling. How can a flame be purple?

I blew gently into the candle light. Instead of extinguishing the color of the flame turns a bright white. I concentrate so hard that my temples start throbbing. My magic manages to blow out the candle but its smell stays inside the room long after.

It's sweet like the bathing oil I poured into the queen's bath tonight. I breathe in and the candle lights up again.

What is going on here? Normally I have this little trick way better under control. I raise an eyebrow and blow the light out again with so much force that the top part of the candle splashes all over the room.

Then I turn to my left side, so I'm facing the wall. I force my eyes to stay shut.

For the first time in my life I'm truly alone. The feeling of loneliness fills my heart and I start crying. I'm angry. I'm so angry at my parents because they came up with this ridiculous idea of a wedding.

They should know better. True love is nothing that happens in arranged marriages. So, why were they so keen on marrying me off on my birthday?

xxx

The next day I'm woken up early and being sent downstairs to the kitchen to get breakfast for the queen. A friendly soul pours me a cup of oatmeal that I gorge down standing up. The cook laughs and hands me a round shaped red fruit.

I turn it around between my hands. I lift it to my nose to smell it. The scent is lovely.

"What kind of fruit is that?"

She stares at me as in disbelief, shaking her head from left to right.

"You've never seen an apple before? What place do you come from?"

I feel like the fruit suddenly becomes hot in my palm. It drops to the floor. A wave of nausea hits me with so much force I have to hold on to the table next to me.

"Why do you have apples here?"

I remember the stories my mother used to tell me at bed time when I was a little girl. How Regina, the evil queen poisoned her with such a fruit. How my father managed to save her from the sleeping curse with true love's kiss.

She developed such a big dislike for the fruit that after I was born all the apple trees in our kingdom were set on fire and destroyed. We have bushes with berries and trees with pears and cherries. But I've never seen an apple in my entire life.

How can people here dare to eat them? Don't they know what can happen? A sleeping curse is one of the most horrible curses you can fall under.

You'll be forever locked up in a nightmare of never-ending fire.

"You need to hurry up, girl." The cook tells me. She hands me a heavy tray filled with bread and butter. There is jam, honey and thick slices of bacon. The cook places another apple from a basket on the tray. "Go now. Our queen is always hungry after her morning rides."

The tray is so heavy that I don't manage to knock before entering the queen's chambers. She's standing in front of a huge silver-framed mirror. It looks like she's talking to her image. What a strange thing to do.

I clear my throat.

"Good morning, your majesty."

She turns around. Purple smoke comes out of the sides of the mirror but vanishes within seconds.

"I was afraid I would have to go without breakfast this morning. Place the tray on my desk."

She points at it and follows me with loud clicking steps. I pour some tea into a delicate porcelain cup for her.

"Did you sleep well, Swan?"

I nod my head. "I slept like I was dead. Thank you, your majesty."

I watch her eat with an astonishing appetite. A bit of honey trickles down her jaw. My instinct is to lean forward and lick it off. I desire her. Maybe I can manage to suffocate the feeling if I remind myself often enough that she's dangerous.

"You told me, you know how to read, haven't you?"

"Yes, your majesty."

"That's going to be very helpful. You're going to assist me while I work on some of my potions."

She's going to practice magic in front of me? A wave of excitement makes my heart hammer faster.

"You're only going to read the instructions in my books to me, so I have both hands free. Don't touch anything. It could bring your end before time."

I have no desire to die. My heart is curious though to watch the queen practice magic. The only kind of magic I've come along so far is fairy magic. I'm sure hers will be very different from that.

"Do you understand me, Swan?"

"Yes, your majesty. I won't touch anything. I promise."

She grabs the apple from the tray. Then, to my horror, she tosses the damn thing at me. Automatically, I lift my right hand and manage to catch it.

"I don't like apples."

The queen laughs.

"I happen to find them quite savory. You still look a bit pale though. A bit of fruit will make you rosy-cheeked again."

I stare down at the red fruit in my hand. I lift it up and smell. How would something poisoned smell like? Would it be foul scented?

"Is something wrong, girl?"

I don't know what to tell her. I can't ask if that apple could be poisonous. I don't want to offend her.

"Don't you like apples, Swan?"

"I don't know.To be honest, I never tried one before. We don't have them in the kingdom I come from."

The queen licks her lips. She gets up from her armchair and steps towards me. My fingers quiver when she takes the apple from my hand.

She lifts it to her nose and smells. Then she presses her closed mouth against it.

"Apples are considered a forbidden fruit in your joke of a kingdom, aren't they?"

She turns the apple around and takes a small bite out of it. I wait for her to fall down to the floor in mortal agony. It doesn't happen. She chews and swallows. A smile washes over her face.

"See, there's nothing to be afraid of. Tell me, Swan, are you brave enough to taste a forbidden fruit? It's most delicious."

The queen holds the apple up to me. I lean forward. My mouth opens to take a bite out of the dangerous fruit. The peel is hard, underneath though the fruit is juicy. The taste is sweet but slightly tart. I chew and moan while the aroma fills my mouth.

"Good isn't it?" The queen asks. She places the fruit back into my hands. I eat it greedily. It's like I'm getting hungrier the more I eat of this. My tongue wipes over the spot where the queen's teeth have left a mark in the fruit.

"It's delicious indeed." I say, unable to stop chewing with my mouth half open. "I've never tasted anything alike."

xxx

The room next to the queen's private chambers is a mystery to me. It's dark because thick curtains are covering the window from letting any daylight in. There are torches burning on the walls. Between them are several shelves filled with herbs and little bottles holding all kind of colored liquids.

I cross my hands behind my back to suppress the urge to take something into my hands to take a closer look at it.

"Remember, Swan, don't touch anything. It could accidentally turn you into a toad."

My knees bend down into a curtsy while I eagerly nod my head.

"Good. Then, let's get started. See the book with the red cover in the top of the shelf there. Get it and open up on page 144. Read slowly, while I'm mixing the ingredients together."

The requested book is covered in dust. I blow over it and open the desired page. It reminds me a bit of a cooking book. Only that some of the ingredients are making my stomach cramp.

"Take a phial of red wine and mix it with double the amount of dragon blood."

I raise an eyebrow in surprise. Dragon blood? Where would anyone get the blood of a dragon without losing his life?

"Where did you get the dragon blood, your majesty?"

"Simple. I promised the dragon something in return and she willingly gave me a phial."

"You understand the language of the dragons? What did the dragon ask for?"

The queen stirs a thickly blue liquid into the crimson wine and it starts smoking slightly.

"A fertility potion,"

She stirs around in the now purplish liquid and smiles. "Motherhood is really important to some people. Do you wish to be a mother, Swan?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know yet, your majesty. I don't wish to take a husband and without one it's impossible."

Her mouth smiles.

"What's the next ingredient?"

I clear my throat.

"Drizzle the dried leaf of an oak tree into the liquid and let it absorb."

She crumbles the brown leaf between her long fingers and slowly drops it into the mixture.

"Was the man your parents picked out for you old?"

"No, your majesty, I don't think so."

"Is he ugly? Does he happen to be crippled?"

I shake my head. I don't know much about the prince my father choose to be worthy my hand in marriage. He's from a big family and a faraway land.

"Why didn't you want to marry him?"

"I don't love him."

The queen blows gently and the fire underneath the potion turns into a bright green.

"Love like many things in this world is overrated. It's better you learn that lesson fast in life."

I think of my parents and how devoted they are to each other. I touch the ring in the pocket of my dress. Love is not overrated. Love is everything. The queen doesn't understand that because she's never had love in her life. For the first time I feel a bit sad for her.

"What's next on the list?" she asks impatiently.

I stick my nose back into the book again.

"Uhm…blend everything together. Add the breath of a virgin's first kiss and stir thoroughly."

My eyes narrow. What is this supposed to mean? How can you catch a person's breathe?

The queen clicks her tongue. She looks displeased.

"I don't think I have any left bottled up. Now, let me think…"

She walks around me and looks me over. It always makes my heart freeze in my chest when she's staring at me in this judging way. It is not like it's my fault the ingredient is missing in her supply. In what kind of markets do you find magical ingredients anyway?

"Are you untouched, Swan?"

My face turns red. There is no way, she can know that I touched myself last night, can she? Is it possible I was unknowingly so loud she could hear my moans?

"Are you mute now? Answer my question. I don't have all day to wait."

I nod my head. "Yes, your majesty. No man has ever touched me. I'm a virgin."

She smiles satisfied. "Perfect. Then it will work just fine. Give me one of the empty glass bottles from over there."

I hand it to her and she pulls out the cork.

"Now, come here, Swan. Moisten your lips with your tongue and part your mouth a bit."

"Why, your majesty?"

"I need a virgin's kiss breathe and you're here. Don't be frightened. You should be grateful your first kiss isn't going to be with some sweaty bumpkin."

I close my eyes. Automatically the tip of my tongue swipes over my bottom lip. I exhale slowly, parting my mouth.

Then, her hand is on my hip, holding me close. Her lips are against mine. They are warm and very soft. She presses them a bit firmer against my mouth. My heart is racing. My head is spinning.

I can feel her tongue sliding gently over my upper lip before it enters my mouth. I quiver when it touches the tip of my own tongue. Between my legs, I'm pulsing.

She pulls back and I exhale in a strange, unknown frustration. I open my eyes and blink.

The glass bottle is held up against my mouth. My breathe turns into a light blue sparkle that is pulled into the bottle. The queen closes it up real quickly and shakes it between her hands.

"Perfect,"

My mouth is glowing. She has kissed me on the lips. Her tongue was against mine. I can feel my knees turning weak.

I watch her stir the blue sparkle into the potion. It sizzles and fumes. Then, the liquid turns dry and leaves nothing behind then a little black pearl. I wonder what it is used for.

The queen touches the side of her mouth with her fingertip. Is it the bad light in here or do her cheeks look a little bit redder since she kissed me?

That night I dream of swans eating apples. Their feathers turn grey, then night black. I walk towards them with another apple in my hand, but it rots between my fingers before I reach the birds.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 _Remember who you are_

 _(Mufasa)_

My skin is damp with sweat when I awake. The room is tinted in a reddish light. It's shining through the lock in the door.

Then I hear her. Throaty moans and heavy breathing. I instinctively know they are signs of pleasure, not pain.

My body reacts to it like a dog to it's Master's command.

I throb. I pulse. I groan.

The sounds from the other side of the door become louder.

It is then I realize she might have someone in there with her. There must be. I can't picture the Queen lowering herself to gratification through her own hand.

An unknown sensation cramps throughout me. Waves of anger wash over me. I hate the thought of a man touching her. I dont want anyone to touch her. Anyone but me.

I tremble. The candle next to my bed lights up a white flame. It flickers. The movement of my hand makes wax splatter all over the chamber.

It is hard for me to control my Magic when I am agitated.

 _Magic_ _can lead to darkness_

The blue Fairy's words echo in my head.

Is that why the Queen has turned Evil? She gave into the temptation of Magic?

What if one time she was just like me? A Princess with an unwanted gift of Magic?

What happened to her? Why did she do the bad things she did?

I hear her moan again. It is unbearable. With a sigh I pull the pillow over my ears to silence the sounds.

It doesn't help. It doesn't help because although I don't hear them. I still know they are there!

I get up. My heartbeat speeds up as I drop to my knees and press my right eye close to the door lock.

Her entire bed chamber is tinted into dimmed red light.

My mouth is dry when I swallow my breath.

The sight before me is out of this world. I know the image will be stuck within my mind for as long as I shall live.

There is nobody with her. The Queen is alone.

She is naked as on the day she was born. Her breasts bounce when she moves.

The construction underneath her resembles the one the equerry put me on as a little girl when I was learning to ride.

It's a leather saddle on a wooden rack. Only that her saddle is different from any I have ever seen.

At the front part there is something attached to it. That leather thing glistens with moisture as it glides partly in and out of her.

She moans. Her hips rock back and forth, up and down. One of her hands cups her breasts, while the other holds on to the strange saddle.

I am pulsing. Not only between my thighs where I am slick with moisture within seconds. My whole body is pulsing, shivering with desire. Watching her is the greatest pleasure I have experienced ever.

Her movements become rapid. Her breath is nothing but loud, fast groans.

My fingers glide underneath my nightgown.I rub myself in the same rhythm the Queens rides the saddle. Faster and faster she moves. Then suddenly she stills and a last sound dies deep in her throat.

My insides clench as intense pleasure rocks throughout me. Lights, red and purple and white flash in front of my partly closed eyes. I collapse on the cold floor and drift away within a few heartbeats.

I awake with sore joints.

"Swan!"

I jump up. Hectically, I exchange the nightgown with my dress and run my fingers through my hair.

"Swan! Get here now!"

In my panic I open the door with magic instead of using my hand that is still trying to tame tangled curls.

The door slams open.

"Swan, I swear, if you -" The Queen stops in the middle of her threat and stares at me.

"I am sorry, I slept in, your majesty."

I kneel and lower my head, feeling unpleasant heat warm my cheeks.

"Get up. How did you do that?"

She grabs me by the shoulder and pulls me up. Her grip tightens.

"How did I do w-w-what?"

"Don't act stupid. It is nothing that works with me. Did you secretly look into one of my books yesterday?"

I stutter again. She is too intimidating when she is angry like this.

"I don't know what y-y-you mean."

"The door, you lying waste of a handmaid. You used magic to open it."

My face is beet red when I look up at her face.

She laughs. I don't understand what there is to laugh about now.

"You are embarrassed. One could think you are ashamed, but that would be ridiculous."

"I don't want to use magic. It just happens sometimes. It is like I have little control over it."

The Queen walks around me and looks me over. She makes me nervous.

"Why did you try to hide from me that you are capable of doing magic?"

"It's nothing that I am proud of, your majesty. Having magic is a bad thing."

The Queen laughs again. Her hand reaches forward to tug a strand of my rebellious hair beneath my ear. i shiver when her fingertip touches my skin for a second.

"Who told you such nonsense? Your parents?"

I hesitate before I murmur the word "fairies".

"Fairies? Annoying little creatures with silly wings and glitter dust."

The corner of my mouth twitches. At least fairies are only capable of performing good magic.

She orders me to bring her breakfast from the kitchen. I stand and watch her eat it with great appetite.

I can't keep my eyes off her mouth. She kissed me with these lips. If I concentrate I can still feel them.

Sinful heat reddens my skin.

The Queen holds up the apple she just took a bite out.

"Let's see how much you can do. Shall we?"

She holds the apple out to me.

"Make it whole again."

"How?"

"You have to concentrate. Close your eyes. It might help."

I squeeze my eyes shut and jump a little when I feel her fingers on my wrist. She stands so close to me that I smell the perfumed scent of her skin. Her breath is warm when it touches my ear.

The apple on my palm suddenly feels sizzling hot. I cry out in pain and let go.

The Queen laughs. Her impressive chest quivers.

Whatever is left of the apple is a blackened ashball on the floor.

"Not bad for a beginner, Swan."

"I don't wish to use magic, your majesty. It just calls to me."

"You are a silly girl. If something calls to you….you have to give in. You have to embrace what you desire."

I hold my breath when her lips touch the palm of my hand.

The burning sensation changes into a slight prickle of desire.

I want to feel her mouth on mine again. The wish makes the muscles in my abdomen tighten.

"Do you wish me to teach you magic?"

I smile and mean it.

The next days and nights, I don't get much rest.

The Queen develops a fondness for teaching me.

I have a fondness for being near her as much as I can. It brings me joy to make her proud.

For the first time learning something comes easy to me.

It is like I was designed to practice magic.

When I manage to turn the core into a sweet-smelling red apple again, she wraps her arms around my waist.

I moan unwillingly when her lips touch mine a sole heartbeat long.

"My Queen," I stutter. I want to tell her to kiss me again. I want to tell her how I wish to share her bed with her. I want to tell her how the mere thought of her fills me with heat and desire.

I don't dare to. Instead I ask for her permission to go to my chamber.

There I press my face against the pillow to suffocate cries of frustration.

It's the night before my birthday. Maybe that's what makes me too emotional.

I miss home.

In a wave of sentimental self pity I pull out mother's ring and look at it.

What would my parents think if they knew where I am? If they knew that I am letting the Evil Queen teach me magic? For a moment I wonder what would shock them more.

The fact that I am learning magic or the fact that I wish to have the Queen teach me much more intimate things than it.

"Swan!"

I stuff the ring into the pocket of my apron and rush into the queen's bed chamber.

"My Queen?"

"Are you well?"

I nod my head. The worried tone of her voice surprises me.

"Yes, my Queen."

"You are not upset because I kissed you again. Are you?

My face turns hot. I can see how crimson my cheeks look when I peak into one of the mirrors behind her.

"I like when you kiss me."

She steps closer and cups my jaw with her hand. Her thumb caresses my bottom lip

"So do I."

I feel her lips on mine and instinctively open my mouth to permit her tongue entrance.

The Queen groans. Her hand holds me around the waist while her tongue circles the tip of mine.

Within seconds I am wet between my thighs. I am pulsing.

I moan in frustration when she breaks the contact of our lips.

"Share my bed with me."

She pulls me with her and sits down at the very edge of the bed. Her robe glides down her shoulder, exposing bare skin beneath the black silk.

"You are beautiful."

"Only on the outside, Swan. Only on the outside. Now, come."

I hold my breathe as I sit down next to her.

She pulls me closer against her warm body until I am sitting on her lap.

My sweaty fingers touch her soft skin. She sucks in her breathe when my fingertips get close to the roundness of her breasts.

Their flesh is warm. The tips are hard and get harder under my caress.

She tugs and pulls on my dress, making the bodice tear. It doesn't take long until the remainder of our clothing ends on the marble floor.

My Queen is bold. Her moist lips taste my blushed skin all over my body.

I moan when she swipes it around one of my nipples.

"Touch me."

Her hand guides mine between her legs. She is so soft and wet here. I can't stop my curious fingers from rubbing and exploring.

My Queen makes beautiful sounds of pleasure.

"Inside."

I slowly slide first one, then a second finger inside her. She is hot and tight here.

Her hips move back and forth. I remember her riding the strange saddle.

I use my other hand to rub her above her entrance while I continue thrusting my fingers into her.

Hectic breathing turns into a soundless cry.

I can feel her pulsing around my fingers.

She holds on to so tight that her nails leave marks on my shoulder.

She holds on to so tight that her nails leave marks on my shoulder.

"You. Are. Mine."

I don't resist when she parts my legs and kneels between them. Her lips kiss me right below my belly button.

I moan.

Lights flickers.

Wax splatters from the chandeliers as I lit and extinguish the candles.

She hums.

Her mouth moves lower...lower and I hold my breathe.

The lips touch my most intimate parts. Her tongue swirls and curls over throbbing flesh.

My legs stiffen. My insides tremble. Then, there is nothing but sweet, sweet release running through my veins.

I cry. I tremble.

She is right.

I am hers in every way possible.

" Are you well?"

I nod and sit up straight in her bed.

"I never...I didn't even know it was possible for a pair of women to-"

"Pleasure one another?"

I want to say love instead of pleasure but the word stays in my mind.

"You are a dear thing. Let me get you some wine. It will loosen your shy tongue a bit."

She laughs and gets up. A moment later she cries out in discomfort. The Queen has stepped on something hard.

Unfortunately, the hard thing is mother's ring.

"Why do you have this?"

The warmth in her voice is gone. It's replaced with anger now.

"Answer me. NOW!"

"I stole it."

"But why do you still have it? Anyone right in their head would have sold the ring"

I don't know what to say. I feel cornered.

"Get up!"

Her magic forces my body out of the bed. She blinks and both of us are dressed again.

"Why did you keep this?"

"To sell."

"God damn it, Swan. You are a sad excuse for a liar."

She pulls me in front of a full length mirror and taps mother's ring against the crystal.

Purplish smoke clouds the mirror. When it sinks down I can look through the mirror like it were an open window. A window straight into my room back home.

Mother and father are sitting on my bed. She's crying against his shoulder.

"It's her birthday. She should be here. Emma's room is so empty without her."

Their image blurs. My eyes fill with tears.

Glass crushes.

"I don't understand this. Did you work for the princess?"

I shake my head no, unable to bring out words.

"Unlike you the mirror never lies. It was commanded to show me where you come from. Why in heaven's name is it showing me Princess Emma's chambers?"

She grabs me hard by the shoulders. The softness in her eyes is gone.

I sob.

"You vicious little liar! Who are you? Are you one of Snow's spies? I shall rip your tongue out and send it to her in a box."

I panic. She's not really going to do that. Is she?

"I am not a spy. I swear-"

"Lies!"

"I am not lying...not anymore. The mirror shows the princess's room because it was mine. I am Princess Emma."

Her grip on me tightens. She shakes me.

"Guards!!! Guards!!!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter** 5

 _All magic comes with a price_

 _(Rumplestiltskin)_

Four of them rush into the room, expecting their queen in danger.

"You there!" She points at one of the guards "Bring her to the dungeons and make sure I don't have to see her face again."

She turns to another guard.

"Saddle a horse and head for Snow White's kingdom.

"Your majesty, I don't understand?"

"It's not your place to understand but to obey. I have a message for Snow and her Shepherd husband."

The Queen laughs.

"Let them know I have something of theirs that they probably want back."

xxxx

I have never been to a dungeon before. As a child, I was awfully curious for ours and tried to sneak past the guards there. I never succeeded.

Just like it's impossible to escape from this dungeon.

The place is dark and cold and smelly.

I sit down in a corner and weep against my knees.

She hates me.

She hates me for lying to her.

She hates me for being me.

I cry some more.

My heart feels like it's weight is a heavy rock.

I am upset with where I ended up. More though about Regina hating me.

It saddens me because I care so greatly about what she thinks of me.

I recall how she kissed me, the taste of her skin. The sound of her laughter. The strictness in her voice when she taught me magic.

The rock in my chest crumbles.

I love her. I love her in the same earth shattering way my parents are devoted to each other.

Whatever true love is made off, she's mine.

The dim light in my cell flickers.

Someone's laughter echoes through the dungeon.

The sound is shrill and high-pitched. The poor soul laughs again.

We once ran into an old woman at the market who had lost the clarity of her mind.

The strange laughter sounds resemble hers.

I don't blame anyone for going crazy in here.

I know I am about to lose it myself when I am being called between the laughter.

"Em-ma! Em-ma! Em-ma! Hahaha! Em-ma!"

I press my hands over my ears but somehow the sound gets louder.

It gets louder until I am convinced the voice calling my name is inside my head.

"Hello Emma."

In an attempt to calm myself I start chanting.

"I am not crazy. I am not crazy."

Again and again.

"You can hear me, can't you, Princess?"

I nod.

"Emma, you hear me. Don't you? Hahahaha!"

"Go away."

The voice in my head mocks me by laughing again.

"Can't go anywhere. Can't go anywhere."

I get up from the filthy ground and walk to the metal bars at the front part of my cell.

It's so dark here.

I light up a torch within my sight.

The voice chuckles.

"Light, Light, Light. Darkness can't destroy the darkness. Only light can do that."

"Go away."

"Told you can't go anywhere. Can't go anywhere but stay and wait."

"For what?"

He laughs again. His voice is shrill and thin as if he hasn't used it in a long time.

"You, dearie, I've been waiting for you."

xxxxx

He is insane. I am crazy for listening to his voice in my head.

Rumplestilskin

I believed him to be dead. My parents told me he was executed before I was born.

"Happy Birthday, Emma."

I don't think there is anything to be happy about today.

I am stuck in a dirty hole like a mean criminal.

My parents are miserable because I run away.

The woman I'm in love with hates me.

I doubt things can get worse. Rock bottom has been hit and it smells of foul straw and rat excrements.

"So full of self pity, dearie."

"Stop talking to me."

He mocks me with his hysterical laughter.

"Be still!"

Rumplestiltskin makes some high pitched screams. He claps.

I try to ignore him talking to me but when he mentions Regina, he catches my curiosity.

"She was mad for not being able to cast the curse."

"Why?"

"Regina has a temper when things don't go her way."

I tell him that's not what I meant. I can't understand why she was unable to cast the curse.

From what I've seen, Regina's knowledge on magic is deep.

"The thing she loves most...hahahaha….loves most...hahaha."

She had to sacrifice the heart of the thing she loves most. I learned that much about the curse from the blue fairy.

"Dearie, can't you tell? The thing she loves most is you. Hahaha!"

I fist a bit of dirty straw in my hand.

"Regina hates me."

"Oh Dearie, hahaha. She hates that she loves you."

I don't get a moment of rest for a long time. Since I don't see the slightest glimpse of sky, telling night and day apart is impossible.

Rumplestiltskin's voice in my head won't be still.

He keeps talking and talking as if he hasn't spoken to anyone in forever.

I learn about his prison in my parents' castle.

I hear of magic ink and potion and curses. Rumplestiltskin speaks of a foreign realm without magic.

"Such a place can't exist."

"Sure can, Dearie. Sure can."

Then he asks me to look for his name in my cell.

I am puzzled when indeed I find a small piece of paper behind a loose rock in the wall. The word Rumple is scratched upon it.

He laughs. I can picture spit bursting out his mouth while he does.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, you would understand, Dearie."

I tell him to be quiet. It's exhausting to have his lunatic laughters echoing in my head.

"Tell me, Dearie, do you want out of your prison? I can help you...if you help me."

I try to reason. It clearly doesn't look like the odds are in my favor.

The woman I'm in love with hates me. I don't believe Rumplestiltskin's theory on her loving me back.

I don't want to risk my parents coming here where Regina might harm them.

Why is she so bitter towards them anyway? It's like the past is a puzzle and I am missing too many parts to complete the picture.

"I can bring you to another place. Out of the dungeon. Or you can rot there...til you smell like foul fish."

"What do I have to do?"

"I bring you to another place. In return you promise to do the same for me. Now, tell me, Princess, do we have a deal?"

I have no idea how he expects me to bring him to another place. Still, I nod my head slowly.

"Touch your fingers to my name. Say it. Out loud. Again and again."

"Rumpelstiltskin. Rumpelstiltskin. RUMP-"

The ground starts shaking. A tunnel of red light opens below me and swallows me. Wind spirals around my body, making me dizzy. I fall and fall.

My head unexpectedly bumps against something hard.

Rainbow prisms flacker in front of my eyes.

It's followed by nothing but darkness suffocating me.


	6. Chapter 6

[A/N] Thanks to everyone who left me a review! I appreciate your feedback.

Chapter 6

 _What sort of awful place is this?_

 _(Enchanted)_

I cannot move. My body is strapped flat to a narrow table. Some sort of mask is pressed against my nose and mouth.

Every few seconds a shrill beeping horn is blown.

"65 to 90"

"Only two more blocks until we are there."

"I hate these suicide attempting teenagers."

Something sharp pokes my arm. It's followed by a warm, numbing sensation.

I feel exhausted, like suddenly every bone inside my body is sleepy.

My eyelids are too heavy to keep them open.

xxx

Someone tugs on my shoulder. I groan. I am still so tired.

ü

A bright light is shone into my left eye. It's coming from a small, flameless candle.

"Pupil reaction, left side, normal."

The candlestick flashes up in front of my right eye now. I try to smell the flame. There is none!

"Pupil reaction, right side, normal."

I blink. The strange, bright light made my eyes water.

A man dressed in a white coat sits on a chair next to me. He smiles.

"Hello there. I am Dr. Whale. Can you tell me your name?"

"Princess Emma."

He chuckles. I watch him write down something with a small wooden stick.

"We need your real name, Princess."

I think of Regina. I think of how I could still be with her if I wasn't who I am. Why can't I be? Just...

"Swan."

Doctor Whale smiles again.

"See? It's not that hard, girl."

His hand is cold when his fingers touch my wrist.

My heart beats and the longest one of them moves a bit right.

What kind of weird magic is this?

"Where am I?"

His lips curl upwards again.

"At the hospital, Miss Swan. You are at the hospital."

I try to sit up but my arms are shackled. It hurts when I pull harder.

"Untie me."

"Breathe, girl, breathe. Everything is fine."

How can he say it was fine to keep me imobile? Was I his prisoner? Why?

"You have no right to keep me here against my will."

He coughed.

"The law requests 24 hours supervision after suicide attempts."

What law? Why would I consider a suicide? Where am I?

Again my arm is being poked. It feels like I'm being poisoned.

It's like death like sleep is crawling through my veins.

A buzzing sound comes out of Dr. Whales coat. He fishes out a small silver colored box and holds it to his ear.

"Manhattan psychiatric center. You are speaking to Dr. Whale."

This time my sleep is restless but long. I dream. I hear voices calling my name. Even Rumplestiltskin's moronic giggle is there.

I see Regina riding the strange saddle in her chambers.

She moans my name.

I wake up sweating.

The whole night is a constant change between dream-filled sleep and being awake tied up in a dark cell.

I can hear some of the other prisoners scream.

Eventually a bright light ball is light up on the ceiling. What kind of magic is this?

I try to blow it out but don't succeed.

Maybe this is another Realm?

One of Regina's books mentioned about how magic is different in different places.

With teary eyes I blink into a bald man's face. He introduces himself as Doctor Adams.

A woman with an odd looking bonnet on her head is with him.

"Emma Swan, attempted suicide."

He doesn't smile when he looks up from the notes in his hands.

"You're not going to give us any problems, are you?"

The woman unties me and helps me to sit up.

"I wish to leave, now."

"And I wish for Prince Charming to come along on his white horse and rescue me."

She giggles.

"Prince Charming is already married to my mother." I tell her.

"Of course. You are Snow White's daughter, aren't you?"

Now, both of them are laughing.

"I am Princess Emma of the Enchanted Forest."

The doctor rolls his eyes.

"I told you, Gracie, this city turns everyone crazy."

She places a pile of clothing next to me on the bed.

"Get dressed, Princess."

I hold up the strange blue pants. Where is the corset? Where the undergarments?

There is a tiny triangle shaped thing.

"What in heaven's name is this?"

Gracie shakes her head and laughs.

"Come on, sweetie pie, let's get you dressed. I help you."

The doctor leaves me alone with Gracie.

My face is beet red when she makes me put on the strange triangle thing as an undergarment. The blue pants are strangely tight around my thighs and calves

The fabric of the white shirt that's been put above my head is soft and smells perfumed.

Gracie hands me a red leather jacket.

"Can I leave now?"

"It would be better for you to stay awhile."

"I want to go home."

"Fine then. Doctor Adams has already signed your release papers. We need your signature here...and down here."

Emma Swan is printed below a dotted line.

I scribble down the name Emma Swan twice.

Deep inside my head Rumple laughs.

xxx

This world is insane! It reeked of sweet and spicy foods and of their strange horseless carriages.

When I jumped in front of one to cross the street, it made an ear-splitting noise!

There are countless people. Everyone is rushing, trying to push themselves through the crowd.

I don't know where to go. For lack of a destination I wander around.

I walk over a huge bridge and admire curious huge houses around me.

A stand with newspapers and books showing pictures covered with mirror sharp images catches my attention.

I take a step to the right and someone curses out loud.

"Are you fucking stupid or what?"

The woman who bumped into me looks pissed. She rubs her leg. Next to her is a puddle of a steaming brown liquid

The smell is not unpleasant.

"You made me fall."

I apologize to her but she is still mad. I don't quite get why. She doesn't seem hurt.

"You ruined-"

"You ruined my 6 bucks Latte Macchiato that I had to wait in line for 20 minutes."

The dark-haired man tugs on his scarf.

"She apologized, so don't make a big thing out of nothing."

He helps her up and I can see how her pissy facial expression transforms into a sugary smile.

"Thank you for helping me. I'm Tamara."

"No big deal."

He is about to turn around and walk off again when she stops him.

"Do we want to exchange numbers?"

"No offense but you're not exactly my type."

Her black eyes narrow. She exhales another curse word through her lips and stomps off.

He frowns.

"You offended her."

"She's a hysterical person. I can't stand women like that."

His lower lip curls into a polite smile.

"Hi, I'm Neal."

I don't know which name to give him. Princess...Swan...Emma...

"Emma Swan." I whisper, using the name given to me at the hospital.

His skin ashens.

When he speaks up again his voice is cracked.

"I knew you were coming for me. I knew that he'd send you here."

Neal grabs my wrist and pulls me into a side street.

I try to free my arm from his grip. He seems panicked. We run through a labyrinth of houses until he finally stops in front of one.

The room he pulls me into is tiny. There are clothes everywhere and empty boxes that smell of cheese and old bread.

Finally, he lets go.

I grap the knife from the dirty counter and hiss through my front teeth.

"Don't touch me, again."

He raises both hands in an apologetic way. Then he bows his head. The movement is linkish, like he hasn't done it in a long time.

"Princess Emma."

"You know who I am?"

Neal nods.

"You and I...we came from the same place.

He talks. Lots and hard to keep up with.

I learn that his real name is Baelfire. He's Rumplestiltskin's son. A magic bean brought him to this world.

I can sympathize his urge to run away from the life he had back home. It must be hard being the Dark One's son.

It sure is hard to be a heroes offspring too. I tell Neal that I run from home because my parents tried to marry me off. I manage to leave out all too personal and intimate parts when I tell him on how I ended up in Regina's dungeons.

"She taught me magic."

"This is a land without magic."

He also tells me there is no way back to the Enchanted forest.

"There has to be!"

I am terrified of staying in this bizzare world full of Doctors and rude Tamaras. This world with flameless light and without magic.

"I want to go home."

I try not to cry in front of him. Instead I move around, looking for something helpful in the chaos around us.

My eyes look down at the blade of the knife.

I drop it when I see Regina's brown eyes stare back at me.

Neal picks up the knife. He looks at it for a second. Then he tosses it into a metal bowl filled with dirty dishes.

"Did you see Regina too?"

"Not her, but my father. I assume they're all together now. Your parents, the Evil Queen and my father."

"You assume?"

Neal pushes a pile of clothing to the side to make enough room for both of us to sit down on the couch.

He pours us a drink. The liquid is brown and full of little bubbles. I wait for him to drink first before I lift the glass to my lips.

To my surprise I find the drink to be most delicious. It's sweet and tiny air bubbles tickle my throat as I swallow more.

"This is tasty."

"It's called a Coke. Are you hungry? I can get us a pizza."

What in heaven's name is a pizza?

I shake my head. My stomach is in a tight knot. I don't feel like putting anything in it.

"Pizza is good. One of the best foods around in this world."

"Alright, let's have some...Pizza."

I will need all my strength and for that I have to eat.

"I know you must be frightened," he states

"At least you have me to explain how things work around here. I was all alone."

Neal explains to me that magic is basically non existent in this realm.

They have their own kind of "magic". It's called "technology" and "science".

He turns on a box called tv for me before he heads out to get the pizza for us.

I flip through a series of music and people on the tv thing. The 'wand' changes them whenever I press a certain arrow-shaped button.

I drink some more Coke and watch a funny colored series of pictures on my mothers life.

The dwarfs look hideous. I wish Sleepy could see this!

I miss home. I miss home even more because it's uncertain if I shall ever return there.

Regina is in the pictures too. Dark and beautiful and angry.

I know it's a mask. That behind her anger is a kind heart that hardened too much.

She makes my soul shake and my heart beat hard in my chest.

I am in love.

And I know it's wrong to be.

Firstly because she and I are both women.

Secondly because after all, Regina is still a villain.

Everyone knows that villains are not to have happy endings.

Ever


	7. Chapter 7

[A/N] Thanks to everyone for reading my story. Happy Memorial Day weekend to those of you celebrating.

 **Chapter 7**

 _Giving into ones dark side never accomplishes anything_

 _(Jiminy Cricket)_

Everyone knows that villains are not to have happy endings.

Ever.

In the pictures Regina is now talking to her mirror.

Of course!

I jump up and search through Neal's mess in order to find a mirror.

There is a cracked one hanging above the sink in the bathroom.

My fingertips touch the cold frame.

"Regina? Can you hear me?"

At first I see nothing but my own reflection looking back at me. My hair is tangled. I have red-rimmed eyes.

"Regina?"

I touch my fingertips against the cold mirror.

"Regina? Please, can you hear me?"

There is no response. My heart sinks in a deep frustration.

Neal returns with the Pizza.

I chew hesitantly. The taste is a bizzare mixture of Oregano, Cheese and spicy sausage.

I take another bite. If I want to keep my strength, then I need to eat.

"See, I told you Pizza is good."

He stuffs a second slice in his mouth and chews loudly.

"How did you know the name Emma Swan?"

Neal chokes.

"W-w-what?"

"You freaked when I told you who I am. Why?"

"My father can see the future."

I nod my head. I've heard that Rumplestiltskin is a seer.

"He used to talk a lot in his sleep. That's how I know."

Neal dips the crust of his pizza slice into some melted butter.

"I am not a hundred percent sure though if he knows what all I heard."

I swallow the remainder of melted cheese in my mouth.

"Is there a way back home?"

"Emma, don't you get it? This land here, it has no magic?"

I stand up and cross my arms in front of my chest.

"There has to be a way! There is always a way."

His eyes narrow.

"We are stuck here. Like it or not. I actually enjoy living in a place without magic. Nothing good has ever come out of it."

My frustration molds into anger. He is neither willing nor wanting to help!

"I wish to go home! I will find-"

"Home to whom? Your parents want to marry you off and the Evil Queen put you in her dungeon."

I lose my patience.

There has to be a way back from here. I will find one.

"You have no idea what I can or what I'm capable off."

The light bubble at his ceiling flickers. There is a cracking sound. Then it busts.

I feel pieces of broken glass on top of my head.

Did I just do that?

Neal wipes glass fragments from his shoulders.

"You got some in your hair. Be careful not to cut yourself."

I try to remove the pieces in front of the mirror. There is a tiny cut at my temple. I touch it to check if it's still bleeding and step closer.

My image fades in the mirror. I am not going to faint because of that little bit of blood? Am I?

I hold on to the sink and lower my head.

Three sets of eyes look back at me when I look up.

My mother'sface is wet with tears. My father's eyebrows are drawn close together. He steps closer to the mirror but is pushed aside by a lace-gloved hand.

"Emma,"

A dry sob crawl out of my throat.

Regina says my name again.

I want to hear tenderness in its sound but I know her too well.

She is getting impatient because I won't respond.

"Emma, child, please say something? Are you well? Did you eat?"

My mother is trying to get a better view but Regina won't make room for her.

"Pizza I had some Pizza to eat."

"What's a Pizza?"

Regina rolls her eyes and sighs.

"Why does it matter, Snow? We need to figure out where she is!"

"I want to be home."

Something is smashed against the mirror, making the glass break into countless fragments.

They are gone.

"Emma, what do you think you're doing?"

Neal's face is sweaty.

"What the hell did you do? I was talking to my parents and Regina!"

He grabs my shoulder. His fingernails dig sharp into my skin.

"You didn't tell them where we are? Did you? Did you!"

The light bubble on the ceiling busts.

Neal drops his hands from me as if he burned himself.

"I'm sorry, Princess but I can't let him find me."

He storms out. The heavy front door slams.

I remain frozen for a couple minutes.

My hands are shaking when I grab piece after piece of the mirror pieces.

All I see is my own pale reflection.

I go back to the other room and sit down on the couch.

It gets dark but Neal doesn't come back.

I wait until my eyes get heavy with sleep.

The next morning when I awake he's still not returned.

I find some small silver coins and green paper pieces in a jar in the kitchen.

Even the money in this world is strange!

I take some of it and stuff it in the pockets of my leather jacket.

There has to be a place out here that can sell me another mirror.

The thrift store I've been sent to has bells ringing when you enter the door.

There are a dozen of carved cukoo clocks sitting on shelves.

I see a cute rocking horse and a few small tables but no mirrors.

"Can I help you, Princess?"

I spin around to see a man pouring a yellow powder into a big glass bowl with plants and fishes.

"Can I help you, Princess? What are you looking for?"

I feel irritated and I don't understand why.

Why is he calling me princess? Why does this store remind me of a place I've seen before?

On another shelf is the most bizzare collection of blue fairies possible.

Baby Blue Faries

Fat Blue Faries

Half-naked Blue Fairies

A blue Fairy with flowers and skulls painted on her skin.

"I'm sorry, Princess, but my collection is not up for sale. Anything else here is available though."

"Why do you call me, Princess?"

"Every girl is a princess to me. Especially the prettier ones."

He smirks at me and winks.

I let him know what I'm looking for and he leads me to the back of the shop.

"What kind of mirror are you looking for?"

I hold up a couple of hand mirrors. For long minutes I stare at my own reflection and wait and hope.

Nothing happens.

Frustration fills my mind, but I am unwilling to give up.

"Do you have other mirrors?"

"Would be easier if you told me what you looking for, Princess."

He brings me into a corner where mirrors are hanging on the walls.

I only see my own image in them. My fingertips touch the glass.

"Please don't touch them. It's such a hassle to clean."

I take a slow breathe through my mouth.

"Maybe you don't have what I am looking for. I need a special mirror."

He smirks again and rubs his unshaved chin.

"Special, huh?"

He pulls a sheet down. The mirror beneath it is beautiful.

The bell in the front rings and he walks off to greet a new customer.

I am alone to admire the mirror in front of me.

The polished wood of its frame is carved into the shape of a castle.

It reminds me of home.

My eyes move to the mirror itself where I see myself looking back.

Then the image blurs as if when someone tosses a stone into a quiet lake.

I hear her voice before I see Regina.

She's reaching out both hands to me. I lift my hand. Regina grabs my wrist.

It's a painfully hard pull.

I lose my balance and fall. The mirror falls on top of me. I feel leather and lace and the weight of voluptuous breasts against my face.

"Regina!"

I absorb her scent. I press my nose between her breasts and touch my lips against her warm skin.

"Emma,"

"You are here. Can you get us both home again?"

She wipes dust from her legs after getting up.

"How did you do this?"

"How did I do what?"

Regina looks at me, her eyes lingering a bit longer on my strange leg clothing than necessary.

"You came through the mirror."

"You brought me here! How did you do it?"

"What the hell have you done to my mirror!"

The guy is red-faced now. He is so busy ranting about how I broke his precious mirror that he doesn't notice Regina at first.

She is unusually quiet. Her brown eyes look through the store as if she's searching for something.

"You are going to pay me for this."

I show him the money but he laughs.

"Seven dollars? Is this a joke?"

I cross my arms in front of my chest. It is not like I broke the mirror on purpose.

Besides. It's the frame that got cracked, not the glass itself.

Regina steps beside me and touches her fingertip to the frame.

"A beautiful work."

He jumps.

His face turns pale.

He rubs his eyes.

Once.

Twice.

A third time before he finally seems convinced that Regina is here.

"You need to leave."

He doesn't seem too interested anymore to get the money for his mirror.

There is fear in his eyes.

Fear of her, Regina.

There can only be one explanation.

"You are from our world!"

"I don't understand what you mean. Just do yourself a favor and leave. Stay away from her."

Regina's shoes click on the floor when she crosses the distance between them.

Her hand moves up to his throat. Then she brushes her nose against his cheek.

"Still the same stench of pine-wood and glue."

"Still the same preference for showing too much bosom in your outfits."

"Puppet,"

"Nobody has called me a puppet in a long time, your majesty."

Regina laughs.

"Emma, meet Pinoccio."


	8. Chapter 8

[A/N] it's my birthday today and you get an update, cause I am nice like that.

 **Chapter** **8**

His name in this world is Mr. August Booth.

Every few minutes he sips on the bottle of beer in front of him.

The story he tells us is puzzling.

He helped his father build the closet which was supposed to bring me to a safe place when the dark curse hit.

Only that Regina never casted it.

"So, your sneaky father talked the blue fairy into hiding you inside the closet."

August nods his head.

"That's how I came here."

Regina bites her lower lip.

"What did you do to the remains of the closet?"

He shrugs his shoulders.

"I left them in the forest where I landed. Don't think I would find that place again. It has been t-"

Regina grabs his arm roughly. Her fingernails leave marks.

"You will remember, puppet."

August chuckles. He gulps down the remainder of his beer.

"You don't get it, majesty, do you?"

He leans closer. The beer smell is mixed with something lemony.

"In this world you have no power. Here you are not a queen. She's not a princess. I am not a puppet."

Regina takes a mouthful from her wine glass.

"I refuse to be powerless. This land...it was supposed to be my happily ever after."

Villains don't get their happy ending. It's a rule. It's an unwritten law in our world. Our world but here? What if it's different in this realm?

"I have no desire to go back."

I can feel the frustration beginning to boil inside me. He's just like Neal. It's like they are refusing to see we don't belong here.

Regina looks him over while he swiftly empties a second beer.

"Let me guess, you haven't exactly been a good boy, have you?"

I look at Regina. Why is she grinning like that?

"Why does it matter?"

She runs her fingertip slowly over the edge of the wineglass. Her nails are painted in a similar color as the drink.

"It matters because being a good boy is part of his deal with the blue fairy."

"I would turn into wood again should I return to the Enchanted forest."

He gets up and fishes some of the paper money out. My face turns hot when he shoves it between the breasts of the tavern maid.

"These ladies are my guests tonight, sweetie. They get whatever they like."

He grabs her behind and hands her more money when she makes a comment that I don't look old enough to drink.

The brown liquid makes my throat and eyes burn when I swallow.

Regina laughs. Her eyes stay on me. She doesn't even flinch when she drinks.

The more she has of the wine and the brown liquor the more talkative she becomes.

She tells me how both my parents volunteered to take my spot as her prisoner.

When they made it down to the dungeon they were faced with a hysterically laughing Rumplestiltskin, not me.

"Snow thought it was a trick. It took me a while to convince her that I had nothing to do with your disappearance."

I sip on my drink again. There is strange warmth in my belly.

I move a bit closer against Regina.

"You came here to get me back."

"I was trying to get you back. Me coming here was not part of the plan."

My heart begins to flutter.

She tried to get me back home.

She cares.

She must care.

"Your magic is strong. It must be if you still have it in a land without magic."

"I have trouble controlling it though."

Her hand is on my knee now. I hold my breath.

"I can teach you."

"Why would you care to do so?"

I am surprised by the anger I feel towards her. If she hadn't thrown me into the dungeon…

"You are upset with me."

She gulps another small glass with brown liquid down.

"I was upset with you too."

"Angry, you mean."

I cross my arms in front of my chest. It's like I am ice cold suddenly.

"You lied to me."

Like I had a choice!

"If you had known I'm Princess Emma, you wouldn't been friendly minded."

She nods.

Her hands reach for the wine bottle to refill her glass. The more she drinks, the more she tries to get physically closer.

I crave her touch but I am hesitant to give in.

She hurt me. For the first time though I realize, I've hurt her too.

Regina let me get close to her. Only to find out, I wasn't the one she thought me to be.

"Why did you run away from your charming parents?"

"I told you. They were trying to marry me off."

Regina bites the corner of her lip.

"So that part wasn't a lie."

"Many things I told you were the truth."

She raises an eyebrow up a bit.

"Like what."

My face feels hot.

"I never kissed anyone before you."

"I know."

Her mouth is close to my ear now. I shiver when warm, wine-moist lips touch its corner.

From the corner of my eye I see August fondling the tavern maid.

He is way too distracted to notice Regina and I leaving.

It takes me a while to find our way back to Neal's apartment.

He still hasn't returned.

"This place is filthy." Regina states, flicking off dust from the edge of the couch.

"I doubt they have castles here in this world."

"There's still soap and and water to clean, isn't there?"

I laugh and plop down on the couch.

"Are we stuck in this world forever now?"

"Forever is a damn long time."

She sits down next to me. Her knee rubs against my thigh.

I moan into Regina's mouth when she leans closer for a kiss.

Her tongue nestles between my lips. I can taste the bitterness of her drinks mixed with essence of sweet.

That is what Regina is like, bitter and sweet.

I embrace both with unknown hunger.


End file.
